Chutiyam Sulphate

'idhar chuttad dhoney se pehle tamancha chalana sikhaya jaata hai'

This one-liner sums up an entire rib-tickling suspense.

Ishqiya: Starring Naseerusddin Shah, Arshad Warsi, Vidya Balan

Just saw this movie and I’m awestruck by the way debutant directors(here Abhishekh Chaubey) are coming out with wonderful movies these days.


Ishqiya is a story of romance between individuals caught in a web of crime, passion, love, sex and deceit.
Two thieves, Khalujaan(Naseer) and Babban(Arshad), are found running, and also digging their own graves, from their boss(Salman Shahid, the Talib Kabul Express). As they seek to find refuge in their friend Verma’s house but instead meet his widow Krishna(Vidya).
Their time spent together gets out the old-fashioned lover in Khalu and Babban’s lustful eye. Comic suspense and drama follows as the story behind Krishna and her intentions are out in the open.

Set in a rural landscape, Ishqiya explore basic human emotions as influenced by greed, desire and revenge.


One thing that had me over and over thinking again was the title. Until not after 5 hours in awe of the movie did I realise. Its very basic:

Ishq+Chutiya= ISHQIYA

The movie is full of some great convos(thanks to Gulzaar saab and Bharadwaj) as is clearly potrayed by Arshad and Nandu(master Alok Kumar from Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic fame)

BABBAN-Tujhe yahan pe red light area pata hai

NANDU-Paise lageinge

BABBAN-Mein kaun sa fakir ka katora le ke jaa raha hoon

NANDU-Main sau rupaiye loonga

BABBAN-Abe teri kaun lega

Or even

BABBAN- Kaisa Lagriya hoon

KRISHNA- Chutiyam Sulphate

Or even

KHALU-Mujhe iss haramzaadi se ishq ho gaya hai

BABBAN-Yeh sahi hai khalu...tumhara ishq ishq aur hamara ishq sex

The movie is purely hindi with ‘twist’ of Bhojpuri that is frankly important for the mindset of the movie
All the characters have done an exceptional performance worth mentioning. It would the stupid to say that no one could have played Khalu better than Naseer. The circuit tag associated with Arshad has some tough competition as definitely Babban is goin to be cherished for a long time. Vidya as Krishna hasn’t been any better and once again proves she’s one of the finest performers in the industry today. Nandu's 10 minute screen time is a sensation.
Music is extraordinary. Ibn-e-batuta and Dil to Bachha are the pick of the lot.
Personally, The movie leaves you wanting for more.
Rating:****
CHECK IT OUT IF U STILL HAVENT!!!1

Valentines Day Special

Yeah, so this is my first blogpost and I thought what not better than today 14th Feb to start writing for those hopeless romantics out there who are still wating to ask out a girl.

I am going to set out with one golden rule: THESE WONT GET YOU TO HER BEDROOM!!

First of all, dont think that its going to be easy catching the biggest fish in the pond just after reading this post.

I am assuming two things about you: 1. You two know each other(I have known guys who dont know the gal but just wanna "hang out") 2.You know how to dress up to approach a girl

Well here it is::
-put up a banner where she can easily see it.
-*NOOB ALERT*: gauge her mood:: If she is stressed out,postpone it,she might decline you. If she's her usual self then go ahead.
-you can ask her out for a movie(dont make it an action flick or pure romantic saga),my suggestion try out a rom-com
-something impractical, hire a plane and fly it with her and your name together using flags

-Just simply gather the your sodding courage and pop the question(Ah...classic and a success rate of 95%)

So that said and done...best of luck mates!!

To keep a girl as long as possible..

Some donts for ya'll:
*dont ask a mutual friend to do it.(irritated with my friends doing it all the time)
*dont ask her out in a letter(though small notes are just about fine)
*dont write a poem like some love-struck dumbcrack(trust me girls are so bored of it now)..once a while small rhyming stanzas are alright but not shakespeare....please!!
*make sure you smell good
*never ever try to make her jealous especially with your ex
*possesiveness is good, but dont cling on to the poor soul.
*very important, dont be sexually suggestive
*dont tell her shes a b*@#h , even if she is...lol
*reminding her that you love her is important but dont say the three golden words again and again they lose their charm
*dont try to avoid the dreaded word for all GUY-KIND---"FUTURE".Be brave enough to face it

Do
-tell her shes beautiful on an ocassion
-throw stones at her window and then help her come down so that you can run off and make out :)
-shave and shower often...hygiene
-support her interest
-be nice to her girlfriends...important damn important
-make her feel the most important person in your life


Any trouble, just reply.
Most of this stuff just out of my head. Try it out if your brave enough.